DEERest Parents
by daydreamerdazee
Summary: Alfred is an innocent kindergarten student with the weirdest parents. What happens when a teacher shows pictures of animals?


**SUMMARY:** Alfred is an innocent kindergarten student with the weirdest parents. What happens when a teacher shows pictures of animals?

 **RATING:** T/PG

 **WARNINGS:** Sexual reference and a fail sense of humor. Typos and Grammatical errors, too. ?

 **NOTE:** First of all, I know I haven't updated _YouTube Love Story_ yet but I'm getting to that~ Second, I just saw a random joke on the internet (I forgot where _;) and I decided to make it a fic. And before we get started, I wanna do a short history lesson since this is a 4th of July fic... Did you know that before we had our (Philippines') Independence Day date, which is June 12, we Filipinos used to celebrate our day of freedom in July 4, too? It's also because of the Filipino-American Friendship Day that we celebrate it in the 4th of July. Until now, actually, some of us celebrate "freedom" or "fil-am friendship day" in July 4! :D you may correct me if I'm wrong about something, though. XD

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own Hetalia like I own the whole world. So... no, I don't.

* * *

Alfred was an innocent 5-year-old child along with his twin brother, Matthew. They're both kindergarten students and they have... _odd_ parents so to speak.

You see, Alfred and Matthew's parents aren't really normal like the ones you know. A normal family consists of a mother and a father but theirs have two fathers. _Papa_ and _Daddy_. They were always quarelling with each other, not the type of fight where someone throws things at the other but a... well... _Tsundere_ fight.. Daddy—Arthur— is the _tsundere_ one, that is and Papa—Francis— is the cool, laid back father.

Now that wasn't really important, but I just gave you a background to Alfred (and Matthew)'s parents.

Now it was a normal day at school. Ms. Elizabeta Hedèrvary, Alfred's teacher, was teaching—as usual— inside their classroom. They were studying the different kinds of animals. Birds, Bees, Dogs, Cows... you name it.

Ms. Hedèrvary then pulled out a picture of a deer and held it out for the children to see. She was smiling that beautiful smile of hers when she asked her students:

"What type of animal is this?"

The children were confused, they were thinking hardly and an unconcious pout was formed on their lips. Ms. Hedèrvary chuckled.

"Clue: this is what your mother calls your father!" She chirped happily.

Something clicked inside little Alfred's mind and he raised his right hand enthusiastically, grinning.

Ms. Hedèrvary was happy that a student was raising their hand so she called out to Alfred. However, she had not expected his answer to be quite... _vulgar_.

"I know, I know!" Alfred yelled happily as she called his name.

"What is it then, Alfred?" Ms. Hedèrvary asked in a kind voice.

"A _horny frog_! That is what Daddy called Papa last night! Am I right, Ms. Hedèrvary?! Am I?! Am I?!" Alfred shouted gleefully, bouncing up and down the floor as he smiled that bright smile he always did.

Ms. Hedèrvary widened her eyes, almost dropping the picture of a deer as her mouth opened widely.

After a few minutes of just standing there while her mouth was opened, Ms. Hedèrvary cleared her throat, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"You may sit down, Alfred." She said and luckily, the bell rang, signaling the end of the day.

She had to talk with Arthur, she thought as she saw her students running out of the classroom. After making sure no one was left behind, she got out and closed the door, looking around to find Arthur.

Soon enough she spotted him with Matthew and Alfred and she walked to them, smiling politely at Arthur.

"Excuse me, Mr. Bonnefoy," she started, looking down at the two boys who were smiling at her. "May I have a word with you?"

Arthur looked confused but nodded nonetheless.

She led him to the corner of the hallway, "uhm, sir, I may advice you to watch what you are saying when your children are around.." Ms. Hedèrvary stated bluntly and Arthur looked shocked for quite a moment but regained his posture.

"And... Why are you saying this?"

Ms. Hedèrvary sighed, "I was teaching them about animals awhile ago and I showed them a picture of a deer," she started and the man nodded, signaling her to continue.

"And then when they couldn't answer as to what kind of animal was it, I gave them a clue. I told them that it was what their mothers call their fathers. Little Alfred here raised his hand. I never expected him to say something so... Vulgar.."

"And what was it he said?"

"He said that the animal was a 'horny frog' and he said that he heard you called Francis that last night." Ms. Hedèrvary answered honestly and Arthur blushed madly, looking down in embarrassment.

"Uh.. I'm sorry for that.." he coughed awkwardly, "I'll make sure to watch my words next time..."

Ms. Hedèrvary smiled, "thank you, sir.." she bowed to him and they walked out.

Ah, deerest parents indeed.


End file.
